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it’s funny what we’d do for food. This lady who lived by school used to sell rice krispies treats to get by. and just a house before you got there was a kid who used to sit there with $1 in hand every day. He said he was buying souls, and you’d be surprised to know who sold. Those who weren’t superstitious first, then those who believed such a thing couldn’t be bought, then those who were just hungry and later came to regret their decision. It was in that long game that money was finally made. People who frequently came offering a bare minimum $5, up to $10, maybe, if you held out long enough.

Why’s it feel like people would let it go for a lot less in my age?

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The other day we went out to the car club meeting. Andy asks for this all the time, i think it helps him talk, and he gets to introduce me to everyone.

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unfortunately it is entirely within humans to answer questions quickly to move on to the next thing. Worse yet, it, the human brain, seems to detest unanswered or unanswerable questions, by their very nature whose increasing complexity will oftentimes elicit a simpler and simpler response.
does it exist?
no.

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i remember that when i was about 16 though, me and andy were in an arcade, and he was talking to the guy who worked there about plans for life. I remember listening in, cause it’s always a bit of a rarity to hear people talking about dreams as they get older.. 27, at 27 i’d get married, and have babies maybe by 29, retire by 50 or something. The guy who he’d been speaking to was well on his way at 29 already. Then time passes and you realize afterwards you’d somewhat followed the plans unknowingly. You wonder where your half life is, and what has changed about the things you want to accomplish. You remember a good friend who never had a chance to accomplish anything, who didn’t know he was halfway through where he’d be at 16. Wonder about keeping that drive at your age, when the things you’ve been waiting for have been getting smaller, yet further away. Does it all come to a head that year when you realize you’ve been waiting all year for january to roll around so you could get a nice big fat income tax return? Counting down the days to the weekend constantly? You don’t know really, its hard to think that time has been wasted when you don’t know how much you have left.

When they asked people once, if they wanted to know the time and the date, they resoundingly said no. Was it because you’d be crushed under the weight of knowing and just give up towards working toward anything?

I found it easier to accomplish anything should you have that arbitrary date. that the stopwatch that ad been running up since before you were watching it consciously were to be stopped by your own hands. It made it way easier to run the race always keeping pace. You just had to stick to the plan.

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it isn’t at all accidental running into someone at a supermarket years later, you just hadn’t noticed them hunting you down the tundras of the frozen food aisle, grazing along like buffalo in meat, only to be cornered when you’d strayed from the herd and ventured into legumes. You poor, poor thing. Carnivores before herbivores.

Hey you remember that thing you wrote..
Yeah, yeah I do, but let me stop you before you continue,
See here’s the thing, the people, the places,
They never mattered, they were never the muse,
It was always the whiskey

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today i had to give the order today to put turkey to sleep.
and though i left my liege with a heavy heart, i pet him as softly as ever

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oh, but i’ve been tired a long time,
and i think it’d be best to just let the year end
on it’s own.

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One of the worst things about being sick is the inability to juggle everything youre used to mentally. It feels like youre washing up a beach youve been to on too many times. Bugs are always like bad prospective tenants who like to kick the tires on the jalopy too hashly. Turn the temperature way up they way down, then after a few days, storm out exclaiming, the rent is too damn high!

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And then the rest if the band comes in and sings
Time casts a spell on you, but you won’t forget me
I know I could have loved you, but you would not let me